Kid: Is there a heaven?
Adult: Yeah, but it’s out of our price range.

Kid: Where does Dora the Explorer live?
Adult: In a better house than us.

Kid: Why is there water?
Adult: To mix with my scotch.

Kid: When will I be grown up?
Adult: The first time I ask you to lend me money.

Kid: What do sheep count when they can’t get to sleep?
Adult: Insomniacs.

Kid: Where do babies come from?
Adult: Diaper manufacturers.

Kid: How do you kill a ninja?
Adult: With a gun.

Kid: Why do we have to go to school?
Adult: Because of child labour laws.

Kid: What do worms eat?
Adult: Who cares?

Kid: Why do people lie?
Adult: Because I said so.

Kid: How does the fridge work?
Adult: You plug it into the wall.